


Let It All Burn

by BundyShoes



Series: X-Men Movies Rewrite series [2]
Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Movie Rewrites
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-02-04 03:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1763725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BundyShoes/pseuds/BundyShoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A continuation of my rewrite series, a sequel to 'Crash Crash'. After Alkali Lake and Jean's sacrifice, everyone is still picking up the pieces. But trouble is never far away for the X-Men and with a new cure and a new, but familiar, enemy on the horizon they'll have to band together for one last stand. Logan/Rogue, Pyro/Kitty, Scott/Storm, some Charles/Raven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation of my other fic: “Crash, Crash”, this is the version of the 3rd movie after my AU X2. Special note- I've been getting some reviews from people who were upset at the lack of overt romance in the last story. My response to them- since they wrote in as a guest and I cannot respond through pm, is that while this is a rewrite of the movies it is still trying to stay close to plausible canon. These characters won't just start making out, there is a slow burn here. For those looking for Scott/Storm, I am sorry that there wasn't a lot of scenes in the last one, I was thinking I'd have more but it seems I was wrong. I promise there will be more in this story than just hints, there is even a scene in this chapter in fact. I couldn’t have Scott immediately drop/cheat on Jean with Storm, it just doesn’t work like that and it would be completely out of character. Also, if you'd notice, I don’t even have Gambit introduced yet and he's listed in the couples. This will be a series, definitely a trilogy if nothing else, and just because something hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it won't at all. I'm sorry some of you were disappointed but the couples I've listed will happen by the end of this series, I promise you, and there will be romance but it will happen when it is right and when it is in character. This story is mostly meant to focus on Rogue and her story, since she's pushed aside in the film franchise, so this will mostly focus on her. That being said- I hope you enjoy this chapter, I've had the beginning of it since I started Crash, Crash :)

Chapter 1:

 

Rogue thought it was going okay so far, that everyone has been doing pretty well in spite of past tragedies. It hasn’t been that long since Jean made her gracious sacrifice, but only a few are still showing pain. One of those few doesn’t so much show it as he does hide in his room. Scott hasn’t shown his face since it happened. Only Storm, the Professor, and Logan have seen him since they got back. Jubilee said she heard crying when she walked past his door one night.

In light of the raid, though, the Professor made drastic changes in the security system, jump-starting the Junior X-Men quicker in the schedule than normal. Said he wanted them to be more prepared for anything that might show itself next time.

So he decided it was time for them to see the Danger Room. At first when you walk in it’s just a big silver room, metal sleek walls, bare. But when someone changes the settings in the control booth it turns into different places and different people. They could be in a forest fighting Sabretooth, or just going through dangerous obstacle courses. Storm’s been in charge of the teachings in there so far. Just her, though, because she’s the only teacher to be able to pull it together and _not_ be in risk of skewering a student if they got on her nerves.

Yea, that was a reference to Logan.

It’s not that Rogue doesn’t love Logan and his tendencies, nor that the Professor doesn’t trust him enough to _not_ put a blade though someone, but Logan had been acting unpredictable ever since ‘The Incident.’

Like today, for example.

The junior X-Men- meaning Rogue, Bobby, Kitty, Jubilee, and Peter- were walking with Storm towards the Danger Room, all in their leather suits (which are pretty tight by the way. How do they wear these things?!), when all of a sudden Logan showed up in front of the door.

He and Storm got into a little tiff, but after a few minutes he convinced her that he’d just watch, that he just wanted to see what they taught us in there. So, rolling her eyes, Storm allowed him access.

It was the Sentinels again.

Sentinels are what they always fight. Rogue can face off against them pretty well, her ‘borrowed’ powers from Erik coming into play, but they’re still bothersome no matter what.

Today she gained a new power, though.

It was out of nowhere. One minute she was running towards a big pile of rubble to get a better hold of her surroundings, when she felt someone grab her and pull her down. She could tell it was Peter, because of the size of the person, but before she could reprimand him, she felt a strange sensation on her forehead; strange thoughts entered her subconscious, memories of a boy, of a different person, people she didn’t know, a home, a--.

A bare hand.

Peter touched her forehead with his bare hand. He still managed to put up his mutation just as it forced her to, her skin turning into powerful indestructible steel without a thought. It’s at that moment that a _ZING!_ cuts through the air and her head is suddenly pitched forward. Peter pulled her into him, but it didn’t matter, the sawmill had ricocheted off them toward somewhere else.

 When she finally looked up, after reigning in the memories and powers, she saw Logan in front of her and then, remembering the effects of her mutation on others, turned back to Peter, who was rubbing his head. When he looked like he’d live, she tuned into what Logan was saying.

His wound was closing up from where the sawmill sliced his face. He sneered at them, “The world’s goin’ to hell, and you’re just sitting there?”he arched an eyebrow, “Let’s go.”

She watched as he moved away and scrambled to run after him, Peter following her lead. Up ahead she saw Jubes sending sparks at a small sentinel. A large yellow burst hit the robot in the face, short-circuiting it, and caused it to fall over. She quickly snagged Jubilee’s wrist, pulling her up to higher ground so she didn’t get squashed by the mechanical being.

“Thanks, chica!” Jubilee wiped her brow, “Those buggers are _so_ annoying! They just won’t go down!”

Rogue laughed but stopped short when she caught sight of something in the corner of her right eye.

It was Bobby and Kitty.

-x-

Kitty was running through hell. That was basically what it was, with the fire and debris falling all around her. She didn’t know where she was going. As much as she loved Danger Sessions and training, she just couldn’t get her mind to focus. So she just kept following Bobby, trusting him to not lead her into a wall or something.

Somehow, though, it got to the point where she was leading and Bobby was running behind her. She heard him stop and she turned around. He had his back to her and she saw a missile flying right at them. Bobby held out his hands and jets of ice flew, freezing the missile and causing it to hit the ground harmlessly.

Bobby turned to her with a satisfied smile, but her eyes widened when she saw the second missile following the first.

She went with instinct, lunging at Bobby and phasing them both to where the missile went through them into the ground behind. She pulled away slightly, her arms still on his. She caught sight of the destroyed machinery and then looked back at Bobby.

He was staring right at her with a strange look in his eye.

Ever since she had returned from Alkali Lake with the knowledge that… _he_ had joined Magneto, she hadn’t been the same. She had thrown herself into her training, studying more, getting more involved with everyone else- if only to forget for a little while.

Sad to say it never worked, since she could never get him fully out of her head. He had been a huge part of her life; she couldn’t walk the halls without remembering _something_ that included him.  

But she had to move on. She had to get over him, and Bobby was _there_. She knew that Bobby and Rogue were together, and she was best friends with Rogue, but she knew for a fact that it was going nowhere. Rogue had admitted herself that she wasn't in love with Bobby, and that she was probably going to break it off soon anyway.

It also didn’t hurt that Bobby was his best friend. By her thinking, since he had hurt her so much, she deserved some sort of payback.

Getting with his best friend and rival was the worst thing she could do to him.

And so that was why she stared back. Because, she told herself, it was a win-win, really. She could get over a certain pyro and Bobby could steal yet another girl from another man. Rogue probably wouldn’t care; she didn’t even like Bobby like that.

Besides, if Bobby was stupid enough to cheat on her friend then Rogue should know about it.

Bobby started to lean forward.

-x-

Rogue watched as her boyfriend was about to kiss one of her best friends. She probably should’ve felt mad that he was about to cheat on her, with her _friend_ no less, but the only thing she could muster up was some sadness because she could _never_ do that because of her skin.

She felt a small pressure in her head, and as a warm tingly feeling spread, she heard a roar rip from her inner brain.

_No!_

Suddenly her mind flexed and the fire that lay next to the two mutants downhill surged near them.

‘John?’ she asked inwardly, but the Australian fell silent, not bothering to speak up again. She could feel him settling down now that the two had separated and weren’t in any danger of touching anymore.

-x-

Kitty watched the fire shrink away, falling back to its regular size. For a minute there she thought that…

It felt like _he_ had been there.

She looked up when she saw movement uphill; nobody was there.

He wasn’t there.

Bobby was trying to catch her eye, so she looked at him. He gestured to where everyone else was running, “Ready?”

She nodded, and he turned around and started off. She allowed herself one more glance at the fire and then followed him.

-x-

Jubilee was curious.

Well that was a given, she was _always_ curious, but right now she was _very_ curious. That little stunt that Rogue had pulled back there had puzzled her.

After Rogue had manipulated the fire, they had run away from the scene, following the others. They then found themselves in front of the biggest sentinel she’d ever seen- It was huge! The smoke surrounded it, allowing them to see only bright mechanical eyes as it moved forward through the mist.

“It’s comin'!” Rogue shouted. Logan strode in front of them, Storm on his heels, yelling.

“Hey, Tin Man!” Logan turned to Peter, ignoring her. “C’mere!”  Peter nodded and went over.  Jubilee watched as Peter grabbed Logan’s shirts and then proceeded to spin him and throw his body at the robot, claws a-blazin'. Storm only continued to yell at them, though mostly at Logan as he sailed through the air into a cloud of smoke. Then they couldn’t see him at all.

It was quiet for a moment, nothing moved and no one breathed. Then a creaking noise and snapping of wires sounded through the silence.

-x-

Rogue watched as a giant robot head flew at them from the smoke. She moved her palms forward as subtly as she could towards it, letting Erik’s power slip through and using it to slow down the head before it crashed into them.

The head laid still for a moment, nothing happened, and then Logan jumped out from behind it. He brushed off his jacket and leveled them all with a look, stopping on her.

“Class dismissed.” He smirked.

Rogue returned the smirk and rolled her eyes at him. As they all began filing out, the chaos and rubble seemed to melt away, leaving only a clean grey room.

Lesson over.

Storm berated Logan for his abuse against her lesson: she had wanted them to learn how to work _together_ , as a team. They had both stopped in the middle of the hallway, and Logan looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. She caught his eye as she passed and gave him another smirk. He narrowed his eyes at her good-naturedly.

When the girls reached the locker room, they all immediately went to get a shower. By the time Rogue had finished, Jubilee had been done and was pulling on her shoes. Kitty was still in the shower.

“So,” Jubilee started. Rogue looked at her friend as she started to pull on her clothes: Long sleeved black top and jeans, with her customary gloves. Jubilee finished with her shoes and leaned forward, placing both hands on the bench.

“Why’d ya do it?”

Rogue pushed her wet hair back. She could tell Jubes what had happened without being overheard by Kitty, who's water was still running loudly.

Her and Jubilee had this thing ever since she came here to Xavier’s where they’d discuss Kitty and John’s relationship. They never kept anything from each other about it, but they never told Kitty, wanting only the best for their ghost friend.

“It was what John would’ve done,” she turned a bitter smile to the yellow-clad mutant. Jubilee nodded in understanding before both women went back to getting ready.

-x-

Storm was in a mood.

For the past few weeks she'd been in a mood, but still. Logan's antics in the Danger Room were just completely unneeded. She had too much stress as it was, she didn’t need any extra.

She let out a sigh as she continued striding down the hallway. She didn’t even know if Scott would be up for a visit today. He'd been in mourning since the jet lifted off at Alkali Lake, but sometimes she was able to see her friend beneath the surface of his pain. Sometimes she was able to get him to smile again.

To be honest, those were the days she lived for now.

Sighing again, she rounded a corner to a well familiar door.

He hadn't left his room in all that time, not even for food. She was usually the one who brought it to him. She was also usually the one to make him actually eat it. The only people he would even allow inside was her and the Professor, and sometimes not even him. Honestly, she didn’t know how much longer she could do this, could continue to see him like this. To see her friend so broken down in his despair…to see Scott fall _this far_ …it was beginning to wear her down.

Sighing for the third time, she gently knocked on his door, not expecting a response, and turned the handle. He never locked it, no one tried to enter anymore with their sympathies or thoughts, but she still liked to announce her arrival.

The room looked the same as it ever had since Jean's death. Clothes littered the floor, laying on top of shattered things that he had thrown about. Sometimes he was quiet in his grief. Other times he was not. An empty tray sat, uneaten, near the door. She had to maneuver around it as she walked around to the other side of the bed to face him.

He sat at the edge, his elbows on his bent knees and his head bowed in his hands, almost as if in prayer. She wouldn’t doubt it, but he had been so contrary recently. She didn’t know if he even held faith in anything anymore. He didn’t move to greet her, but she half expected this. At least he hadn't yelled at her to get out yet.

She knelt down before him quietly but he still didn’t move. She reached out, hesitantly, as if trying not to startle a wild animal, even though this particular one was like stone. Her fingers brushed his hands.

"Scott?" she called softly. "Hey, it's me."

Nothing. No response.

Storm swallowed dryly. Her fingers pressed against his skin, cupping the backs of his palms. "Scott? Come on now, don’t shut me out."

Her knees inched forward, her hand gliding from his hands up to his shoulders. He still did not speak. She tried to peek behind his hands, to catch a glimpse of his eyes or _something_ , but he kept them well hidden, like always.

"Scott," her voice cracked and she swallowed again, this time harshly. " _Please_. Talk to me." Her other hand reached up to tenderly comb through his hair, trying to give him comfort.

She sighed, knowing she wasn't going to get an answer at the moment. Brushing her fingers through his hair once more, she stood to her full height, her back straightening. Her arms fell away from his body as she turned to leave.

A hand reached out to tug on her wrist.

"'Ro…"

She blinked hard once before looking back over her shoulder.

He was a pitiful sight. His glasses covered his eyes, but she could still see the tear tracks down his gaunt, scruffy cheeks. His grip was strong against her arm, but she knew he was wasting away. She didn’t think twice before coming back to him.

Cradling his head against her stomach, she held him as he started crying again, fingers smoothing through his hair.

"She's gone, 'Ro. She's gone."

She smiled bitterly, one lone tear slipping unbidden, unseen, down her cheek.

"I know, honey. I know. I'm so sorry."

He burrowed farther into her embrace. "She's gone," he sobbed.

"I  know. I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It'll be alright."

His fingers dug into the back of her shirt and she ignored the flutter of her heart at the feeling, at his closeness.

She sighed, causing his hair to ruffle a little.

She should've expected this. It always ended up like this, after all.

"It'll be alright, Scott. It'll be alright."

Now she just had to convince herself of that.

-x-


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Kitty hurried down the hall, clutching her books to her chest. For some odd reason she had accidentally slept in and now she was late to the Professor's class. She was _never_ late to class, and she wasn't about to start now.

With seconds to spare, she rushed through the doorway and plopped herself down into her seat. Ignoring Jubilee's giant smirk, she set about organizing her books and notebooks in a practical order.

"Took ya long enough, chica. Thought you were about to skip. Almost sent out a search party," her friend winked at her and Kitty rolled her eyes, grudgingly amused.

"I didn’t sleep well last night, so I woke up late this morning. Trust me, it shocked me too."

"Just don’t make a habit of it, girl. One day, if you aren't careful, you'll become-," she let out a dramatized gasp, "a normal teenager!" Jubilee framed her face in horror and Kitty laughed.

"Oh, please!" she started, but, before she could say any more, the Professor chose that moment to wheel himself into the classroom. Kitty quieted down along with the rest of her classmates and settled in for the lesson.

She didn’t know if it was because of the lack of sleep or something else but for whatever reason she felt her mind wander throughout the lecture. The thoughts that had been keeping her up at night came back to her once again in the daylight and she bit her lip, trying to force them out.

She didn’t want to think about him. She needed to stop.

It was easier said than done though, this she knew, but she had to keep trying. Maybe one day she'd actually succeed.

She fell back on default mode in the classroom, asking questions and listening with half an ear- being the good student she is and keeping up appearances. She did a pretty good job of this up until the Professor cut himself off and dismissed class out of nowhere.

Almost as out of nowhere as the darkening skies outside the window.

She and Jubes shared a look as they gathered up their books. The Professor had a serious glint in his eyes as he continued to sit still, waiting for all of the students to leave. Something must have been off and judging from the weird weather, Kitty assumed Storm was probably involved.

She nodded at the Professor as she and Jubilee left, mumbling a goodbye that she heard him echo.

Kitty hoped everything was alright. She didn’t think this mansion could handle anything more.

-x-

Wind whipped her short hair around her face, but Storm was a statue as she stood at the balcony. Her gaze was far away, while her mind was on people who were closer than she liked.

Scott wasn't getting better. He only continued to deteriorate in his grief and she could understand his mourning, but this was getting to be too much. He was killing himself and it killed her that there was nothing she could do. She could only continue to try to be there, but he wouldn't let her in, he wouldn’t let her _help_.

Her brow furrowed and the wind blew harder. The trees surrounding the school had branches falling off, leaves swirling in the harsh air. Dark clouds continued to surge above, like a monster ready to devour the world.

Storm scowled.

She hated being useless. She hated the feeling, hated that she wasn't good enough to help her friend.

"You know, the forecast called for sunny skies today."

She didn’t flinch, but she did turn around, facing Charles. He was smiling at her, but his eyes held concern. She forced an apologetic smile for him.

"I'm sorry," she offered, tilting her head back as she guided the weather, pushing the dark clouds away and letting the sun come out again.

Charles rolled closer, his smile softening to match his gaze, "I don’t have to be psychic to know something is bothering you, Ororo."

She didn’t turn back to him just yet, letting her eyes linger on the brightening sky, letting the fresh air fill her lungs. She briefly closed her eyes before finally responding.

"It's Scott," she murmured.

Charles nodded, already guessing that this was the main issue.

"I can't keep this up. I can't keep watching as he destroys himself. I miss Jean too- _God_ , I miss her _every_ _day_. She was my best friend, but she would want us to keep living and he's-!" Storm caught her breath, clenched her jaw, and righted herself. She refused to lose her cool. "He's not letting himself come back. He wants to follow her into the grave and I'm starting to think that I can't stop him from doing so."

He nodded again, his brow creasing as he pondered on his response. He had been worried about Scott as well. His friend continued to drown in his sorrow and he refused to let anyone aid him. Charles still hoped for the best, but he was also starting to feel the same as Storm- that nothing was working.

"We have to keep trying," he finally replied, "Scott's in a bad place but he's strong and he'll find his way back. I have every confidence-"

"But that's just the thing, Professor, I'm starting to think he won't. I'm starting to think he won't come back and that he's going to hit bottom and he'll be lost to us forever."

Charles studied her, "How long has this been worrying you, Ororo?"

She shook her head, "I've always been worried, Charles. It's only recently that I've been _terrified_ for him."

They were silent for a while after that. Only the sounds of the birds chirping and the leaves blowing in the light wind filled the air. Students mulling around the grounds were chattering away, laughter and cries filtering to where they were. Storm took even, deep breaths, keeping her chin up and her shoulders straight. She wouldn’t fall apart.

No matter what happened, she couldn’t allow herself to fall apart.

"We'll continue to keep an eye on him and continue to try to help him. It's all we can do for now," Charles finally spoke.

Storm could only nod. There really was nothing else they could do, short of bringing Jean back to life.

And that wasn't happening anytime soon.

-x-

The day had started off pretty normal for Rogue. She got up at a decent time, ate breakfast with Logan, and then went to her first class for the day. History with Storm had been…interesting. Rogue could tell that something was on Storm's mind, just like it had been since Alkali Lake. She didn’t say it out loud, but Rogue knew that what was happening with Scott was still wearing on the weather goddess's mind. But whatever it was, the older woman kept it locked up tight and didn’t talk about it.

Storm let them out early and so Rogue decided to go ahead and get some lunch. She met up with Jubilee, who was on her way in the kitchen too, and both girls gathered their meals and made their way to the rec room to sit and watch TV. The couch was blessedly free and they flopped onto it and kicked their feet up. Jubilee tossed a chip in the air and caught it, grinning with her mouth full and Rogue couldn’t help but giggle as she turned the television on, not looking at what the channel was.

However, as she glanced over, the smile died in her throat as the writing on the screen and the voice of the man penetrated her mind.

A cure?

Even Jubilee quieted down as they sat in rapt silence as Warren Worthington II, the head of the Worthington Labs, continued to speak about this new antibody for mutants to use, if they so chose. Other students wandered over as he continued to describe it, claiming it was an answer to mutation.

Rogue's mind went blank. She knew Logan and Erik, even the other boys, were trying to speak to her, but she couldn’t listen to them right now.

There was a cure?

She could be cured? She could be normal?

She could vaguely hear Jubilee begin to talk beside her, but Rogue could only continue to sit in stunned silence.

-x-

"Whoa, a cure? That's so crazy, man. Do you think it's legit?" She glanced over at Rogue, but her friend wasn't paying attention. "Yo, Rogue! Girl, can ya hear me?" She waved her hand in front of the other girl's face. "Hellooo?"

Rogue seemed to snap out of whatever thought process she was in, finally looking over at Jubilee, "What?"

Jubilee jerked her chin at the TV set, where a commercial for shampoo was now playing, "The cure- do you think it's real? Or do you think it's a hoax? Wouldn’t put it past the government to come up with some crazy conspiracy to round up the mutants like this or somethin'."

Rogue was quiet for a moment. "They could be tellin' the truth," she murmured.

"Yea, but how likely is that?" Jubes snorted.

"Hmm," Rogue bit her lip. "Maybe."

The TV continued on, a couple commercials came and went, and then suddenly Rogue was standing up from the couch.

"I need to check somethin' out," she threw over her shoulder as she left the room.

"Well that lit a fire under her ass," Jubilee mumbled under her breath. She exhaled loudly before reaching for the remote and turning it onto some trashy reality show.

"Now this is what I call good television."

-x-

Logan was really hankering for a cigar by this point. The idea of this fucking cure was giving him a migraine with all its meanings and repercussions for mutantkind. And it didn’t help that Storm seemed to have found her high horse niche on this issue.

"Who would want this cure? I mean, what kind of coward would take it just to fit in?" she griped to the room. The occupants were very few, which Logan was thankful for, but emotions were still high. Fluffball was alright, but Logan could smell the tension coming off him. While he was sure this whole topic was all around awkward, the real McCoy seemed to have a look in his eye that suggested that maybe he'd want to take the cure.

So Storm was probably shoving her pretty foot into her pretty mouth at the moment.

But Furball gave it as good as he got, leaning forward on the couch to counter her with: "Is it cowardice to save oneself from prosecution? Not all of us can fit in so easily." He gestured towards her non-fur covered body. "You don't shed on the furniture," he joked, but his tone had a touch of darkness in it.

But Logan didn’t buy this cure bullshit.

So why not blame it on the government? Blue Man Group seemed adamant it wasn't, but Logan's never had a good history with the government's actions, so he's still not convinced.

But did he really just call him 'boy'?

At that moment though, his nose caught the scent that was much more worthy of his attention, and Logan turned to the door in time to see Rogue striding through like a one woman hurricane, her long dark hair a whirlwind behind her.

"Is it true? They can cure us?" she demanded. Her eyes were wide and the wild glint in them worried him. She looked desperate and that was dangerous- very dangerous.

Wheels looked like he didn’t know how to respond at first but eventually answered that _yes, it seemed so_.

Rogue glanced over at Logan, trying to garner his reaction, but he could only stare back at her. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want her to gain false hope and he had a feeling that this would probably end badly. Also, while he just wanted her to be safe and happy, a tiny part of him didn’t want her taking this 'cure', even if it did work. He didn’t think she needed to change.

But that didn’t alter the fact that if she decided to do it then he'd support her no matter what. He wouldn’t judge her or turn his back on her. She meant too much to him and ,even if she didn’t, that it'd be a shitty thing to do.

But Storm, once again, inched her foot towards her mouth.

"No, Professor. They can't cure us." She looked over at Rogue, who continued to stand indecisively in the doorway, and got up to walk over to the younger girl. "You wanna know why? Because there's nothing to cure, nothing is wrong with you, or any of us for that matter." Her expression was fierce and Logan dimly wondered if there was something else behind her determination. He knew she'd been having a tough time recently with other one-eyed related things, maybe this was her trying to gain control over something in her life?

Regardless, he wished she'd back the fuck up on this issue.

He couldn’t help but focus as Rogue bit her lip, her emotions blatantly warring on her face. He could tell she was confused, could smell it coming off her in waves, but he didn’t know what to say.

Her eyes searched him out again, but he could only stare back. Even if he did have the words, he didn’t think he could say them in front of company. He just couldn’t.

-x-

It was dark.

It seemed like it always was recently. There was no more light, not for him. And even if there was a glimmer somewhere, Scott didn’t think he had the strength to reach for it anymore.

God, he felt so weak. He felt so lost.

He missed Jean.

She had been everything to him- she was his other half. He had felt so complete with her and without her here, without her _alive_ , it was like a piece of him was constantly missing. The hole in his heart ached and he longed for it to heal but it refused to.

And he refused to let it. Somewhere in the dark recesses of his mind, he recognized that he refused to let it heal. It wasn't that he couldn’t move on, he just _didn’t_ want to move on. And it was driving him crazy. It was pushing him to the brink.

So far to the brink, that when he heard it at first, he thought he _was_ crazy.

" _Scott!_ "

He just about fell off the bed and jumped out of his skin.

Jean?

He stood up in the middle of his- _their_ \- room, his body creaking from the misuse over the last couple of weeks, and he turned in circles. Was he finally losing it? Had he truly gone insane?

But there it was again: " _Scott! Help me!_ "

"Jean!" he breathed out, tears leaking from behind his visor. It was her. _It had to be her._

" _Help me, Scott!_ _Please!_ "

He was gasping for air, but his thoughts were clear- she needed him. He had to go to her. He didn’t know what, but there was something in him that knew the way, that would lead him, guide him. If he was in his right mind, he wouldn’t have trusted it, but, as it was, only one thought looped in his brain:

He had to go to her.

-x-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SOSOSO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, MY WRITERS BLOCK IS RIDICULOUS AND I'VE LACKED INSPIRATION FOR EVERYTHING RECENTLY SO I AM SO SORRY  
> I hope this is alright. There are obvious bits that are exactly like canon, which, again, my story will kinda run parallel with the canon series (and other mcu films as well) but there will be some huge divergences, especially where Rogue is concerned. I've already got my version of AOU kinda planned out (and fyi, Clintasha is endgame in my fics okie dokey).   
> Also I have this thing for Logan where he can only call Hank nicknames instead of his actual name idk I think im gonna keep it what, what do you guys think?  
> Anyway, hope ya'll liked this chapter. I will begin working on the next chapter soon, hopefully it won't take almost a year, and again I am soooo sorry D:


	3. Chapter 3

****

Chapter 3:

She moved without thinking when she saw the green light upon Erik's shoulder. Turning around, she called out, trying to warn him, only to feel a tiny prick in her own shoulder.

She felt her world slow down in an instant and yet felt it rush by her quickly.

As she collapsed, she could vaguely hear Erik and the boy moving around, but her body began to convulse on the ground and she couldn’t spare them another thought. Pain laced through her and she felt as though she were being flayed alive. She moaned pitifully as her vision went red and black.

When her eyes cleared, it was to the sight of a pale hand stretched before her. In another moment, she realized it was her own hand.

' _That's not right_ ,' she thought. ' _That's not my hand. That's not me_.'

She felt a shiver rush through her and the tremble in the hand in front of her matched. She shook even more. A blonde lock of hair fell over her eyes and she resisted the urge to rip it away.

"You saved me."

She looked up.

Erik stood above her, his eyes taking in her new form. They were wide before something settled in them. Setting his jaw, he began to turn away from her.

"Erik," she breathed, all but reaching for him. Why was he turning from her?

He looked back down upon her, his gaze cold. "I'm sorry, my dear. You're not one of us anymore."

She couldn't breathe.

He didn't look back as he walked away from her with his new recruits and the boy. She heard him say, "It's such a shame. She was so beautiful," as he left and the air that was still locked inside left her lungs.

And he was gone.

She didn't move for what felt like hours. She just lay there, resting her head on the dirty ground. Her blonde hair fell over her face and she could see it move with her breathing.

What now?

She didn’t know what to do.

How could he leave her?

After thinking about it for a second, a laugh escaped her. She shouldn’t be surprised, actually. Of course he'd leave her. She'd always known, ever since the beginning, what his interest in her was. Had she really convinced herself that maybe he'd actually cared for more than her mutation?

The dried tears she didn’t know were there told her she had.

How stupid of her.

She put everything into his plan- everything into him. She gave him _everything_.

And now what?

There was nothing.

She wasn't Mystique anymore. She hadn't been Raven in a long time. Who was she now?

She was nobody. She was nothing.

And she had nothing. There was nothing but the mission, nothing but her mutation. It was her identity and now it's gone- her worth along with it.

What now?

-x-

Rogue was sitting in the kitchen when it hit.

She was pouring a bowl of cheerios for Kitty when suddenly Jean's voice was screeching through the air, sending static waves through her brain and cereal flying everywhere. When it settled, she shared a bewildered look with Jubilee and Kitty who sat opposite of her.

"What was that?" Jubilee asked, but before either girl could answer, Storm was running past the doorway and their attention was snagged. All three ran for the door and Rogue could see Logan running down the staircase to meet Storm on the ground floor. They booked it towards the Professor's office.

"That can't be good," Kitty mumbled as they stayed in the kitchen doorway.

Rogue had to agree.

-x-

Returning with Jean from Alkali Lake should have been one of the happiest moments in her life. And it was…until Storm walked into Scott's room to find it empty.

She searched everywhere for him and every time she came up empty, she felt her lungs constrict even more.

Where was he? He couldn't have left?

She turned on her heel and made a beeline for the Professor. Maybe he'd know where Scott was.

­-x-

Logan stared down at Jean's prone form, her once bright red hair a burnt scarlet that stained the gurney like dried blood.

She looked calm, but the Professor's words echoed in his brain.

_"The only explanation of Jean's survival is that her powers wrapped her in a cocoon of telekinetic energy."_

_"Is she gonna be okay?"_

_"Yes, I believe so. Jean's mutation is an interesting one. She has inside her what is called The Phoenix. Not much is known about it, but what I do know is that it's a powerful entity that bonds with its host. When Jean was a young girl, it bonded with her, but it was too strong for her then. I created a series psychic barriers to isolate it from her conscious mind and as a result Jean developed a duel personality."_

_"What?"_

_"The conscious Jean who's powers were always  within her control and the dormant side- the Phoenix."_

_"You're talking about a person's mind here, you can't just-"_

_"The Phoenix is too strong to be left unchecked. It's like the id. A purely instinctual creature- all desire and joy…and rage. "_

_"Did she know all this?"_

_"It's unclear how much she knew. The real question though, is who is sitting before us. Is it the Jean Grey we know…or the Phoenix struggling to break free?"_

_"She looks pretty calm to me."_

_"That's because I'm keeping her that way. I'm trying to restore my psychic blocks and help restrain the beast again."_

_"You can't just keep it locked away. This is a person- this is_ Jean _we're talking about!"_

_"You don't understand. You don’t know what she's capable of."_

Logan shook his head. He didn't know what she's capable of, that's for damn sure. But he thought he knew the Professor and what he was capable of.

_"Sometimes you can't cage the beast. And sometimes the beast gets angry at trying to be controlled."_

Logan's fists clenched. He respected the Professor, but this felt wrong. He knew, better than most, what it was like to have people try to control you, try to take away what made you who you were. It infuriated him. And the thought that the Professor could be just like…like Stryker…made him sick.

He clenched his fist, feeling the bone beneath it grind with metal. He dropped his hand. Glancing over, his eyes caught another thing that lay on a nearby table that made his gut clench.

At Alkali Lake, not only had they found Jean's body, but he had also found Scott's glasses- something he hadn't shared with Storm in all the rush of events. He hadn't had time to tell her, but they weighed heavy on him now.

Where was One Eye? He had obviously been there…where had he gone?

Suddenly a rush went through him and every piece of equipment in the room stuttered and beeped.

Then it stopped.

He looked around but it wasn’t until he looked back down at Jean that he realized what had happened.

She woke up.

"Jean!" he rushed over, not knowing what to do as the woman looked so disoriented as she struggled to gain her bearings.

"Lemme go get the Professor," he started, turning for the door, when her hand caught his arm. It was a surprisingly strong grip.

"W-wait, Logan. I-I-" she was gasping for breath, her lashes fluttering. He stepped closer but felt his muscles tense in preparation. For what, he wasn’t sure.

"Do you remember what happened?" he asked quietly.

Her eyes squinted and she struggled to recall, but she didn’t seem to be successful. She let out a groan as she ripped the monitor devices away from her and sat up. He held his hands out to help stabilize her, and she grabbed his arms as she swung her legs over to one side.

"I don't-I don’t remember anything, Logan- what-?"

"It's alright, just take deep breaths, alright?" He tried to keep his voice level, knowing he needed to calm her down. He wished she had allowed him to get the Professor. As annoyed with the man as he was, Logan knew he was better at handling this shit than he did. Logan didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t know what was wrong.

She took deep breaths. He tried studying her face, but she wouldn’t look him in the eye. The energy she gave off was frantic and her scent was wild and…off. There was something not quite right, but he couldn’t pin point it. She seemed like herself but there was something there that he couldn’t put his finger on.

Or it could just be the fact that she just came back to life. He'll leave it at that for now.

While she continued to take breaths, his gaze caught on the glasses not too far away. They were going to keep bothering him unless he brought them up. Maybe that'll help her remember.

"Jean, listen to me," he grasped her shoulders and her eyes finally darted to his. "Do you remember what happened to Scott? Did you see him?"

Her brow furrowed, "Scott? Wha-?"

"When we found you, we also found his glasses- but not him. He can't go anywhere without his glasses, you know that…Do you know what happened to him?"

Her gaze went distant then, as she looked into herself to see if she could find the answer. When she let out a haggard gasp and tears sprang to the corners of her eyes, his heart sunk and he knew- he knew without her even saying anything.

He may not have been buddy-buddy with him, but…damn if the guy wasn't someone he considered an ally, if not a close one.

"Scott!" she sobbed, the tears streaking her face as she turned into Logan's arms. "Oh God, Scott! What did I-?"

He shushed her, pulling her into his arms. He wasn’t all that comfortable with emotions, but he knew how to deal with the physicality of a woman. He could hold her, if nothing else. "You can't blame yourself, Jean. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is," she cried, her fingers digging into his arms as she pushed away from him. "It is my fault, Logan. I- I did it! I'm the one who- I killed him! Oh, God, I killed him!"

Logan swallowed harshly at the admission. Now that it was out in the open, it didn’t hurt any less. The Professor and Storm still needed to be told too- fuck! This was going to suck.

"You don't know that, Jean. You just woke up a couple of minutes ago. It couldn't have been your fault," he tried being soothing, but Lord help him it was way out of his jurisdiction.

Jean was glaring down at the floor now, her eyes darting everywhere. Her chest started to heave with her heavy breaths.

"Logan, it was me, I know it was-"

"No, you don't!"

His grip became almost harsh as he tried to calm her down. He really wasn’t cut out for this.

Her wide eyes stared into his. She seemed to have stopped breathing but he could still hear her heart beating.

He softened his voice when he spoke again: "You don't know for sure, Jean. You don’t know."

Her voice was weak when she responded: "But I do know."

He could only look at her. He didn’t know what to say.

"Logan…," she began, her fingers curling into his jacket. She was looking back to the ground and shaking her head. "Logan, I-"

Her body suddenly went tense and everything in the room seemed to convulse. Logan felt his bones tremble and his skin tingle as a force pushed him back and away from her, throwing him to the ground.

He was panting harshly as he looked up at her now, her hair blowing in an unseen breeze, her body still. She tilted her chin up and what he saw there made him want to crawl away.

The entirety of her eyes were black. And he knew then.

This was not Jean.

Logan was looking at the Phoenix.

­-x-

The Professor was behind her as Storm rushed into the infirmary, but she didn’t stop to wait for him.

Something was wrong.

This was confirmed by the ripped off wall that used to be the giant metal door to the medical area. She barely glanced at it before she saw Logan laying the ground.

"Logan!" she cried before she kneeled down next to him. He seemed disoriented as he forced his body to sit up, and she reached out to steady him. "What happened?"

He was breathing heavy as he stared, wide-eyed, up at them. "It wasn’t Jean," he said, "It wasn’t Jean."

"What have you done?" The Professor muttered, something tragic in his voice, but Storm didn’t focus on that.

"Where did she go? What happened?"

Logan finally looked at her. "She thinks she killed Scott, it-it sent her over the edge."

Storm went still.

She tried to speak but her voice wouldn’t cooperate. It took her three tries and when she finally did, it came out small and weak.

"Did she?"

Logan went silent.

Storm fell back onto the floor, feeling the air rush out of her. She turned away, her eyes unseeing as she tried to reign in her emotions. Logan leaned toward her.

"It wasn't her, Storm, okay. We don’t know for sure if it was her, or if she really even killed him. When she left, she was-"

"The Phoenix."

Logan turned away from her to look at the Professor, but Storm couldn’t look anywhere but at the pair of sunglasses that lay broken on the ground a few feet away.

He was gone.

They both were- both her friends were gone. She knew it, felt it in her bones. Jean didn’t come back and she took Scott with her.

She heard thunder rumble in her ears but didn’t register anything else around her as Logan and the Professor continued to talk behind her.

It wasn’t until she felt her arm being roughly shaken that she snapped out of it.

It was Logan and he was speaking into her face, trying to get her to register his words. She forced herself to focus, forced her eyes to narrow and her ears to listen again.

"We have to go," he was saying.

"We have to go."

-x-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT UGHH MY INSPIRATION AND CREATIVITY IS SO LOW I'M SO SORRY I HOPE THIS UPDATE WAS OKAY I'M SORRY


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Storm felt like she was moving through water. It took all her energy to not bring down the heavens and let it pour down on everything.

Suffice to say, the ride over wasn't a good one.

As she walked beside the Professor and Logan towards Jean's childhood home, she couldn't help the scowl that coated her expression. She already lost one best friend, now she had to subdue another. Was it even worth it at this point?

"Ororo…," the Professor murmured, and she felt a brief, comforting press against her mind. She felt the strain in her shoulders lessen some, but she could still feel the tightening in her chest. She forced her thoughts to shut down, clamping them down.

She needed to be here for this. She needed to do her part. She couldn't fall apart now.

Her team needed her and they needed her to be levelheaded.

Up ahead she could see a group waiting for them. A giant man stood in front of the walkway to the house and three other individuals behind him. However, the man striding towards them was the one they all knew.

"You were right, Charles," Magneto called out jovially. "This is a special one."

Storm glanced down to the Professor who's jaw clenched. When he spoke, it was to her and Logan however, not Magneto."Wait for me here."

"What?" Logan's tone was sharp.

"I need to see Jean alone." The Professor did not look at anyone as he continued to wheel himself forward. Magneto met him halfway and she and Logan shared a look.

This wasn't going to be good.

-x-

"I don't want trouble here," was the first thing Charles said to Erik, and Erik wanted to laugh. That was always his old friend's way. Always so afraid of conflict. But this time, they were both on the same side.

More or less.

"Nor do I, Charles," he replied as he walked alongside the other man. He could feel Charles looking over his group of mutants- knew who he was looking for.

"She's not here, Charles," he murmured quietly as to only reach their ears.

"Where is she?" Erik could see his knuckles grow white on his seat rest and tried not to smirk. Charles's weaknesses had always been apparent, and this one had been an open wound for years. On the one hand, Erik understood. He cared for both of them- they had all been friends at points in their lives. But on the other, he didn't understand. Attachment was never a good idea and Charles would be better off in finally cutting away from this one. It never did him any good to dwell on that connection.

How to explain to Charles what had happened, though. He knew his friend would be conflicted, knew his friend wouldn't understand why Mystique was not here. He'd condemn Erik for leaving her behind and Erik needed him to be here for this present situation.

"She's gone," was what he finally responded with.

With his helmet on, Charles could not get a read on him- something Erik was immensely grateful for in that moment. He knew Charles wouldn't have hesitated to jump into his brain to find out what had happened to his childhood friend.

Charles stopped his chair and Erik found himself halting as well. In front of them, the Brotherhood waited in anticipation and from behind he could feel the tension mounting. He knew the Wolverine would not stay still for much longer and would cause trouble. He also recognized that Jean was unstable, could feel the power emanating from the house in waves.

They didn't have time to dawdle.

"Charles…"

"Where is she?" Charles's voice was sharper. He wanted a real answer- a truthful one.

Erik frowned. Charles just couldn't let it go- couldn't let her go. It caused for irritation and Erik wished, not for the first time, that that tie would just be severed already.

Erik hated sentiment. It didn't help his cause and it didn't help him. It was nothing but harmful.

Case in point now- Charles couldn't concentrate until Erik answered him.

"She's gone, Charles. She's just gone." His tone was blunt, but he could feel his eyes softening at his friend without his permission.

This is why he hated sentiment.

"Erik, if you did anything to her…" Charles tried to sound threatening but Erik regained his grip and chuckled at him.

"I didn't do anything, my friend. It was her choice." And with that, Erik began to walk forward- with or without Charles next to him.

He heard the wheels begin to move and couldn't help but smirk.

-x-

He was gone.

He was _gone_.

The Professor was gone.

Logan felt like he couldn't breathe as he stared down at the empty wheelchair. His adrenaline was pumping but there was nothing to fight. There was nothing at all.

He looked back at Storm, whose expression was filled with such grief and loss that he had to turn away. Something filled his chest that made him want to roar and tear it out, but in the pit of his stomach he just felt empty.

He dropped to his knees at the foot of the wheelchair. He heard Storm choke down a sob and felt her wrap her arms around his shoulders. Without thinking, he let one of his hands reach up for hers. Tears leaked out the corner of his eyes and he kept his head down, trying to hide.

The Professor's smile that he sent Logan in his last seconds flashed through his mind. Logan didn't understand. He didn't want to understand. He wanted to curl into a ball and forget this had even happened.

This had to be a nightmare.

What did they do now?

-x-

Storm looked so empty standing up there giving the eulogy. Rogue felt her heart go out to the weather goddess. As much as Rogue herself cared for these two men, she knew Storm felt more.

She had lost so much in such a short span of time. Rogue knew what that was like.

Rogue twisted the lily in her free hand. The other Bobby was clutching, though she could see him reach for Kitty on his opposite side. Even where she was, Rogue could hear her friend crying softly, so she couldn't fault him for trying to comfort Kitty.

Feeling someone's gaze on her, Rogue glanced around. So many students were gathered- all in black- but her eyes were immediately drawn to him. He stood a distance off, partially hidden by the hedges near the back. He wasn't wearing black, but his mood was just as somber. He looked angry as he frowned down at the gravesite. She wished she could go to him, hug him, do something. Even just standing next to him would be helpful, but she knew she couldn't.

Their eyes connected and she tried to let him know what she was feeling. Without a word between them, he seemed to still understand and even from this distance she saw his shoulders sag a little.

When Storm finished her speech, everyone stood up and Rogue walked forward alone. It was silent as she leaned down and placed the flower at his grave. The little candle at the base of the stone fluttered in the wind, but the flame didn't go out. She tried to take that as a sign for things to come.

-x-

After making her excuses, which no one bought but everyone understood, Kitty curled up on her bed and cried. She knew Rogue and Jubilee stayed in the kitchen to give her some time, recognizing that this was hitting her harder and she needed to be alone. She was thankful to have them as friends and her emotions overtook her even more and she had to shove her face in the pillow to quiet her sobs.

There was a knock at the door and she cursed herself for not locking it. The door opened and she forced herself to sit up and wipe her face off. She knew she looked awful, but whoever it was would have to deal with her ratty hair and red, swollen face.

It was Bobby. Of course it was Bobby.

She was starting to regret her decisions in the Danger Room. She liked Bobby, he was a nice guy, but it still rubbed her wrong that he was essentially cheating on her best friend with her. Did Bobby have no conscious at all?

Though she did appreciate his comfort during the funeral (even though Jubilee held her other hand) she just didn't feel comfortable moving in this direction with him.

He sat down on the side of her bed and she had to look away from him.

"How are you doing?" he asked, his voice gentle.

She shrugged, the edges of her mouth tugging down. "Like everyone else I suppose." Her fingers played with a piece of frayed denim, her eyes burning a hole in her bedspread.

Bobby was silent and she couldn't help but look up after a long drawn out silence. He was giving her a look, like he knew what she was really thinking.

It only irritated her slightly.

"I'm fine," she tried assuring. At this point she honestly just wanted to be alone.

He kept staring at her. She felt like squirming but her pride wouldn't allow herself to. She huffed a little and looked back down at her foot.

"It's just…," her jaw worked, "The Professor came to my house… _He_ was the one who convinced me to come here."

He nodded, his expression filled with understanding. "Yea, me too. We are all feeling the same way, you know?"

Annoyance sparked in her chest and she felt agitated all of a sudden. "No, Bobby, we're not," she made her tone sharp, her hands curling into fists on her knees. "I mean, you have Rogue," at this, she looked pointedly at him. He had the decency to look away. "And I have…"

And despite knowing all of the friends she had- Jubilee, Rogue, Peter, even Bobby…she still had one name that came to mind first.

_John._

Her heart squeezed and she pushed the awful feeling away. "You know what?" she scoffed, "I just…miss home…" A jolt hit her again and she tried to think of something else. Anything else. Something the complete opposite of him.

She thought of her home town. Chicago. Her parents. The last time she saw them was Christmas time. It felt like it had been forever since then.

"The first snow and all that…" she sighed, knowing her mind was nowhere near the weather.

Suddenly Bobby was jumping up and telling her to follow him. She raised her eyebrows and laughed.

"What are you talking about? Storm told us to stay in our rooms."

He smirked and shook his head without a care, "Don't worry- we won't get caught." He leaned down to her, "I mean, you _can_ walk through walls, you know."

She couldn't help but chuckle at that. He seemed sincere, like he actually wanted to help her feel better. She bit her lip and considered her options. She could sit here and mope or…

When he reached his hand out to her, she only hesitated a little before reaching back.

What could it hurt?

-x-

"I'm sure it's not what we're thinking…"

Jubilee cringed as Bobby leaned into Kitty. From her and Rogue's vantage point, it looked exactly like what they were thinking. She turned to her friend who merely stared down at her best friend and boyfriend. Her expression was blank, but Jubilee knew her well enough to know her mind was reeling.

Despite her friends lack of deeper feelings for Bobby, Jubilee knew this would still bother Rogue a little.

"Girl, I'm…" she was going to say she was sorry, but Rogue shook her head, cutting her off.

"No, it's alright."

Jubilee doubted that. "Are you sure?" she checked.

Rogue nodded. "Yea," her voice was airy and light- trying to sound okay.

Jubilee studied for a moment before looking back down where Kitty and Bobby were separated and leaving the fountain. Kitty seemed to be pointing her body away from Bobby as she took her skates off. Her body language was distant and uncomfortable. Jubilee knew her friend was regretting going down there, but also knew she was grieving. People did stupid things when they were grieving.

"Hey, Jubes," Rogue started. Jubilee turned to her.

"Yea? What's up?"

"Do you mind…givin' me some time alone?"

Jubilee hesitated. "Are you sure you should be alone right now?"

Rogue gave her a smile. "Yea, of course." Jubilee still didn't look convinced and Rogue rotated to fully face her. "I'm fine, Jubilee. I just need a second, okay?"

Jubilee nodded after a moment.

"I just need some time to think," she looked back through the window where they had already left. The fountain already looked like it was melting back into liquid form. "I'll be fine. I swear."

"Alright. I trust you. Just…remember, Rogue, Kitty is still smarting over John…everything with the Professor probably didn't help." She paused, "She was probably looking for something fun to do and Bobby probably presented an opportunity…he is John's best friend, after all."

Rogue nodded. "Yea, I know. Trust me, I get it." She shot Jubilee a wry look.

Jubilee chuckled, "Yea, I guess you do." She paused for a moment and then turned a serious look at Rogue. "You know I'm here if you need me, right?" Her voice was soft but solemn and Rogue smiled at her.

"Yea, I do."

"Good," Jubilee grinned. And then she leaned over and gave Rogue a quick hug before walking out the door.

She trusted Rogue. If she said she'd be alright, Jubilee would believe her. Hopefully Kitty would be alright too.

-x-

Kitty was _not_ alright. Her head was in a whirl and she couldn't believe what she had just done. How could she have _kissed_ Bobby? What was wrong with her?

He was still Rogue's boyfriend, no matter what else was going on. It didn't give her the right to kiss her best friend's boyfriend. It didn't matter that she was still in pain. It didn't matter that he was… _his_ best friend. It didn't matter that she knew Rogue wasn't all that into the relationship.

If nothing else, Kitty had her honor. And now she didn't even have that.

As soon as Bobby's lips had touched hers, she knew she had made a mistake and had quickly pulled away. He was swift to apologize but she couldn't utter a word. They had left the fountain with no words between them and she knew she was to blame.

What was wrong with her? Was she so ready to hurt John that she was willing to throw everything else away?

She stopped short in the middle of the hallway she had been walking down.

Oh crap.

That was the first time she had said his name…or thought it at least.

Her heart throbbed and she groaned, fisting her hands in her hair. She knew she must look crazy to whoever walked by, but she didn't care. She had been on a downward slope since Alkali Lake and she was _so_ tired.

John had fucked everything up. He had fucked her up so much. And she hated him. God, she hated him so much.

"Screw him," she growled under her breath. "Screw him!" she threw her arms down and strode down the hallway with purpose now.

There was an ice cream carton in the kitchen with her name on it and a trashy TV show waiting for her in the rec room.

She was done with grieving over that idiot. She had better things to do with her life. Like stuffing her face and forgetting he ever existed. Jubilee was right. She needed to start living like a normal teenager.

-x-

Rogue had sat on her bed for about ten minutes before getting up and stuffing some clothes in a bag. It was a process she remembered, except this time her parents weren't staring from the doorway with angry, frightened faces. And she didn't have the cruel words from a disguised Mystique ringing in her ear. At least this time it was her choice.

She was going to get the cure.

She had been thinking about it for awhile now and seeing Bobby and Kitty down below…it didn't hurt because of Bobby being her boyfriend, she knew that. But seeing two people be that intimate, knowing she couldn't do that. That her boyfriend had to go to other people to feel touch while she was left behind, covered head to toe like a pariah.

She was tired of it. Despite the friends around her, she felt so alone sometimes. Her power separated her from even her own kind and she couldn't stand it. She needed to do something about it. Her power did nothing but hurt her and others.

It was time for it to go away.

She was just too tired.

And that's why she found herself walking towards the front door, her money for a bus ticket burning in her pocket. She had stuffed the boys' voices to the back of her mind. She didn't want to hear their opinions. She didn't want them to talk her out of it.

And that's why it shouldn't have surprised her when, mere steps from the exit, his voice- his real voice- stopped her.

"You runnin'?"

She spun on her heel slowly, suddenly afraid to meet his gaze when she knew she had no reason to be. She was sure of her decision. And besides, this was Logan. He'd never judge her.

But still…

She knew he had the power to know what she was feeling. Which was ironic, since _she_ was the one who had his conscious in her head.

"Need a lift?" he asked, his eyebrow rising on his forehead as he took in her bag. His eyes snapped up to hers and she couldn't look away. And she couldn't lie to him.

"You don't know what it's like to be afraid of your powers. Be afraid to get close to anybody-" she blurted out, immediately knowing how dumb that was to say, especially to him.

And he did too, but he still replied, "Yea, I do."

She bit her lip, feeling her neck flush. "I wanna be able to touch people, Logan. A hug, a handshake..." her voice trembled but she fought to maintain eye contact with him, "A kiss…"

She knew she didn't imagine him glancing down at her mouth. Her heart stuttered in her chest and she was almost caught off guard when he changed the subject, looking a little flustered himself.

"I hope you're not doing this for some boy," he frowned.

She looked away for a moment before lifting her chin. He stepped closer to her and she had to bite her tongue when his scent reached her nose.

Maybe she was doing this for some boy.

She shook her head and focused back on him.

"Look," he started, his head leaning down to look her in the eye, "If you wanna go, then go. But just be sure it's what you want." His brows were furrowed and she knew he needed to make sure that _she_ was sure.

His affection, his support, floored her and she had to look away again to get herself together.

"Shouldn't you be telling me to stay? To go upstairs and unpack?" She bit her lip as she glanced up at him through her lashes.

She hadn't seen his expression this open since the day he gave her his tags, since he gave her a part of himself that wasn't just mental and unwilling. Her heart began to thump wildly.

He shook his head down at her, smiling, his eyes roaming over in a way that left her a little breathless and hinted at more than what his next statement claimed. "I'm not your father. I'm your friend."

And despite her feelings, her true ones, and despite what she believed to be his, that statement still had her biting back a grin.

After one more glance to her mouth, he began to turn away. "Just think about what I said, Rogue."

And it was pure instinct when she grinned up at him sweetly, batting her eyelashes, and reminded him, "Marie."

From the look on his face when he looked back, she knew he hadn't forgotten. "Marie," he nodded, a smile brightening his usually rough countenance. He turned around and left her to make her decision. And as she watched his back moving farther and farther away from her, all she could think was:

' _God, I love that man._ '

She let out a sigh and bit her lip again. Reality smacked her in the face as the weight of her bag reminded her of the crossroad at which she was standing.

What was she doing?

She wanted the cure, but only because she wanted to have the ability to touch. She needed control, something she hadn't had since she left home when she was 17.

Would the cure offer that to her? Of course.

Her hand reached for the doorknob but hesitated as her fingers grazed it.

But was there another way?

The Professor had told her about finding a way to control her mutation, that she could master it somehow. It would take work, especially since he was gone, but wasn't she already working on it? With the many voices in her head, she was already figuring out how to manage it- mentally at least.

Could she figure out how to control her ability to touch?

She bit her lip and freed the boys' voices from the mini timeout she had them in. Immediately Logan was asking her if she was alright and Erik sent vague waves of concern her way. The other were not as loud and for the first time she felt like she could manage it.

She felt like she could do it.

Suddenly she felt like she was taking the easy way out and it made her gut churn. She had more to offer, she had more to discover. Taking this cure would erase any chance she had to understanding herself.

Because that's what this mutation was. It was a part of herself, whether she liked it or not. And she would find a way to deal with it. She was strong enough, this she knew.

And with that thought, she dropped her hand from the handle and turned on her heel. Every step away from the door felt like the right decision and she didn't have any doubts.

She would figure it out.

And besides, she wasn't alone. It was time she realized that.

-x-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY ABOUT THE LONG ASS WAIT AGAIN but this chapter came out of nowhere tbh and I'm amazed I actually had time to write it. Hope ya'll enjoyed it :)


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

John couldn't help but feel a swell of pride as he stood above the rest of the crowd. This was so much different than Xavier's. Here, he was actually somebody. He had a place. He wasn't just another child for the cause. He was the right hand man. He was somebody important.

And striding next to Magneto, he felt it- he felt that power, that importance. People moved out of the way, people listened to him. He wasn't just _some kid_.

He was important.

Tuning back into the conversation at hand, he couldn't help but agree with Callisto. He may not trust these new mutants (or any of them, to be perfectly honest.)but he trusted their dislike of the other side. The "enemy of my enemy" type of deal.

Even if she wasn't Dr. Grey, even if she _was_ just the Phoenix, she was still one of them.

"So were you once," Magneto responded to his out loud comment.

This angered him. Of course he remembered. He remembered every fucking day- he didn't need to be _reminded_ of it. It was a mistake, a bad time in his life. John tried to keep his cool on the outside, but he could feel his blood boiling and it's what caused him to lash out.

"I've stuck with you all the way," he's on the defensive but he refused to acknowledge it. "I would have killed the Professor if you had given me the chance." It was a bold thing to say and he wasn't entirely sure if he meant it, but there it was. He didn't need to prove himself, but he fucking would. He had too. This was where he belonged, this was what's right.

But a hand stopped him in his tracks.

Magneto's gaze was heavy and it pinned him where he stood.

"Charles Xavier did more for mutants than you'll ever know. My single greatest regret is that he had to die for our dream to live."

And as Magneto walked away from him, John wanted to forget the suppressed sentiment he saw in the older man's gaze. Magneto was the man he held up as an example for himself. He was the man who, not even a couple of days ago, brutally sent away the one woman who'd been by him all these years- just because, by saving him, she lost her mutation. He was the man who'd almost killed Rogue and then joked about it after. He'd watched his best friend die and was now walking around, using it as reason to rally the troops. Magneto was a cold man.

But by seeing the sentiment and sorrow in Magneto's eyes, it forced John to remember his own regrets and that's the actual opposite of what he wanted to do. He wanted to move forward. He wanted to forget what he left behind and keep going.

He wanted to burn his past to ashes and not let it catch up with him. He'd been running from it for years, he refused to let it continue to haunt him.

It's funny though, he thought as he walked to his small tent on the off skirts of camp. Despite his wish to forget where he came from, he had to ignore how much his thoughts drifted to his…friends.

Something always reminded him of his time at Xavier's. He supposed that since it was his only real home, it was only natural to remember it so much. It didn't stop him from being bitter about it.

Reaching his crappy abode, he pushed the flap back to crawl inside. It was small, but it'd do. He wasn't here to vacation, after all. He's here to work.

He flopped down, ignoring the stick beneath the tarp that dug into his back. Folding his arms behind his head, he stared at the ceiling. There's a hole a few centimeters from the middle and he idly hoped it doesn't rain tonight. Though seeing how muggy everything was, he wouldn't be surprised if it did.

And with his luck so far, it'd definitely rain.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his Zippo. The shark design was starting to wear off and he honestly didn't need this lighter anymore, not with his cool new weapon, but he supposed he had some sentiment as well.

He clicked it open and watched the flame.

It just happened to be for his lighter.

Not anything else.

_'John, you are such a prick.'_

He snapped it shut, killing the flame.

Nothing else.

-x-

Logan hadn't seen Rogue at all this morning and he supposed that was his answer.

She went to get the cure.

He wasn't lying when he told her he'd support her. He'd always be there for her, no matter what she chose.

He just hoped it was what she wanted.

The morning was a somber one though, and his mood fit the rest of the house as he stood at the window. Normally, he'd be gone by this point, already stolen One-Eye's bike and leaving tire tracks in his wake, but…

That wasn't an option anymore. Not right now, at least. He was still needed here, it felt like. At least for the moment.

"So what now?"

Logan couldn't help the irritation that spiked through him at the icicle's voice. A small part of him (who was he kidding- a large fucking part of him) blamed the kid for making Rogue feel bad about her mutation. He could smell Kitty on the kid, had seen the ice pop sniffing around the girl when Rogue wasn't looking (or was- Rogue wasn't stupid) and knew what was, or had been, happening.

He could also see the heavy cloud of guilt and misery that still shrouded the girl as she sat across the room from him on the couch. She'd been like that since Alkali Lake, the bags under her eyes a testament to her mental health. Logan understood what she was going through- losing someone important to you. He didn't like the route she was taking to deal with it, but he understood.

But by the look in her eye and her body language towards the icicle, Logan knew she'd finally given up one bad idea. He could smell the discomfort rolling off her in waves and her arms and legs were crossed away from Bobby's direction. She clearly didn't like being in the same room with him, even though the kid didn't even seem to realize it.

It made him wonder if it'd been what triggered Rogue to make her decision- if she had seen the 'bad mistake' that led to Kitty looking and feeling like this.

Fuck, this felt like a damn soap opera. He was too old for all this fucking drama. He wished he had a cigar, but he knew Storm would kill him if he smoked in the house right now.

Oh shit, he hadn't been paying attention. Icicle was getting all fired up and by the looks of everyone else, it seemed to be a pretty important conversation.

"I can't believe we aren't gonna fight for this school."

If Logan wasn't so unimpressed with the kid right now, he'd vocally agree, but as it stood he kind of hated him. His enthusiasm looked to be making a dent on Storm's depression though and he could see her visibly considering her options.

Icicle was right though. A lot of these kids didn't have homes. He supposed he was one of them too.

A foreign scent caught Logan's attention and he stood straighter in preparation for the person's entrance.

It was a tall, blonde man. He looked young and nervous, but kept his shoulders straight.

"I'm sorry, I know this is a bad time," he started, gaining everyone else's attention. "I was told that this was a safe place for mutants."

Logan noted the redness around the kid's eyes and knew it'd been tough for him to get here.

Fluffball dashed his hopes though when he responded that "It was, son."

The crushed look on the blonde kid's face seemed to spur Storm into action as she finally stood up, her chin up and her eyes glowing with energy again. "And it still is," she decided- announced.

The look of hope on the man's face seemed to breathe life back into the place- give it meaning. Storm began taking charge, pushing her tragedies away so she could keep the Professor's dream alive and give the students a place to be safe and happy. She started listing off instructions and everyone moved to help. Everyone wanted to do their part.

Logan turned back to the window.

He didn't really have a part. Nothing that would help, anyway.

-x-

Rogue hadn't left the gates, but she did take a long walk around mansion grounds. She had made her decision but thought a little peaceful meditation wasn't a bad idea either.

Being around nature was so calming too. It usually was, but she secretly believed that it was thanks to Logan that she had this new appreciation for it. He was a feral being (and she supposed she was now too- what, with him being in her head) and this was his habitat, his safe space.

Without realizing it, she'd found herself staying outside so late that she was able to watch the sunrise as she sat on the field.

It was nice. It was calming.

And it gave her more time to think.

She needed to get her life together. She had decided what she'd do with her mutation- she'd work at it. She'd get better at dealing with it and try to learn more about her abilities.

But she also needed to think about her social life.

She needed to talk with Jubilee and Kitty, be more honest with them- especially Kitty. They were long due for a talk. Rogue wasn't angry with her about what happened with Bobby- she got it. She was sort of in the same situation, if she were perfectly honest with herself. Using Bobby to get over the man she really wanted? It was exactly what they were both doing.

But at least Rogue's guy hadn't turned evil and joined the opposite side, forsaking his friends and his home. Kitty had it a little worse off than she did. Rogue got that. But they still needed to clear the air.

But that was the other thing.

She was using Bobby. Rogue had known this from the beginning, no matter what she convinced herself. Sure, she had been trying to feel normal, but that was pretty much the same thing. He was nothing but a stand-in, and Rogue couldn't do that to him anymore. Despite his recent shitty decisions, he still deserved better than that.

She's not ready for who she really wants to be with, but Rogue knew that she couldn't be with Bobby anymore. She had to end it. And she needed to focus on herself- she needed to learn to be independent.

So she got up and started making her way back to the house, wondering if anyone had noticed she was gone.

It was easy to find Bobby, though Rogue would admit some of it was thanks to Logan's nose. Bobby was walking towards her room- to see her or Kitty, she'd never know. When he walked in and saw no one, she was there to catch him as he was turning to walk out.

"Hey," she greeted, smirking slightly at his startled expression. He recovered quickly and smiled at her.

"Hey, you. Where've you been?"

She lifted a shoulder, "Walkin' around. Had some things to think about."

He raised his eyebrows and walked closer. "Oh yea? Like what kind of things?" He grinned and reached a hand out, only hesitating a little to brush it against her shoulder and rest on her elbow. The elbow that was covered completely in fabric and in no way dangerous to touch.

Rogue let out a sigh. "Bobby…"

He furrowed his brow at her ton and smiled uncertainly, his hand beginning to pull away. "Rogue? What's wrong?"

She grimaced. "We need to talk."

And when he frowned, she could only gesture back into her room. Hopefully this would go smoothly, but she highly doubted it.

-x-

Logan found himself walking outside after the little powwow from earlier. He needed some air. Sometimes it was too stifling to be in that place 24/7. There were just so many people. And he was so used to it just being himself most of the time. It got to be a little too much, a little too jarring.

He walked until his feet carried him to the gravesite.

The flame was still burning, despite the semi harsh winds blowing at it. The Professor's profile was carved into the marble and it looked so cold, so inhuman.

He wished the man himself were here, he could use a little advice, a little guidance. Logan felt so lost, so useless and it made his skin itch. He needed a purpose, he needed action. He couldn't just sit here when he knew there was a war brewing in the distance.

He needed something to do. He needed a sign and maybe some small part of him hoped being near the Professor, or what was left of him, would give him some insight.

But there was nothing.

_'Logan…'_

His breath whooshed out in a rush as he spun on his heel.

No one was there.

It sounded like-

_'Logan!'_

Jean? He spun around, looking for the source but it sounded like she was coming from everywhere. She kept repeating his name, asking where she was, for help and it was overwhelming. A pressure kept mounting in his brain and it forced him to his knees as pain laced through him. Flashes of a forest, of an army flashed in front of his eyes and he squeezed them shut.

She was so loud and then-… it stopped.

Slowly and cautiously, he raised his head and his gaze immediately fell on the picture of the Professor.

He could've laughed at the irony.

He guessed he had something to do now. He'd go get Jean. It was the least he could do to help contribute.

-x-

The talk with Bobby went as well as could be expected. When she tried to break things off, he got upset and started arguing with her decision. He claimed she was just using him because she really wanted someone else (Logan), so she was quick to bring up Kitty and what she saw.

Using her best friend to cheat on her wasn't something he was going to get away with, not on her watch. And even if Rogue was using him because she wanted to be with someone else, she never actually committed the physical act of cheating- he did.

In the end they agreed to be friends. She couldn't be around him for awhile, but hopefully they'd reach a point where it'd all be okay. She told him to stop messing with Kitty though. Kitty was going through enough in her life that she didn't need Bobby screwing her up even more.

Breaking up with Bobby lifted such a weight though, and Rogue couldn't help but smile giddily as she reached up and gripped her dog tags. _His_ dog tags.

She felt so much freer in her life. It was an amazing feeling.

To follow that high, she found herself walking towards his room. She wanted to talk with him and touch base. Really, she just wanted to see him, see his face and be near him.

But as she turned the corner into his room, a grin on her face, she felt it drop almost immediately.

"You runnin' again?" The smile she forced was a weak one at best.

Logan dropped the shirt he had just pulled out of his dresser into the knapsack he had in his other hand. He was packing.

For what?

She stepped slowly into the room, unable to process what she was seeing. Why was he leaving? _Was_ he leaving? And where was he going? She looked to him for answers.

Logan pursed his mouth into a hard line, looking regretful at what he was about to say. Rogue almost didn't want to hear it now.

"No, kid. But I have to go somewhere real quick."

Her heart twisted at the 'kid' and knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to push her away. She took another step closer.

"Go where?"

He turned away and picked up another shirt, stuffing it into his bag.

"I got a message from Jean, I know where she is."

Confusion rushed through her, "Jean? What? Logan, she's gone."

He shook his head, "No, she's not."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing, "Logan, she killed the Professor- it's not Jean!"

"You don't know that!" He turned to glare at her. "I know what I saw. I know what I heard. That wasn't her. That wasn't Jean who did it- it was the Phoenix. The Jean we know is still in there and I'm gonna bring her back."

Rogue stared up in disbelief at him as he took a deep breath before he turned to his bed. "Then why are you goin' alone? Why not bring someone with you?"

"Because it's faster that way."

She shook her head, "No, it's not. You just wanna go by yourself," she accused.

"So?" he snapped. "It's my fault she's gone. It's my fault the Professor's gone. I need to do this. I need to do _something_ -"

"You don't need to do it by yourself!"

He spun around, leaning down to get in her face, "I don't need anyone's help." His chest heaved and his breath ruffled her hair.

Rogue shook her head in confusion. What was he doing? Why was he acting like this? Why was he yelling at her? Especially after last night's conversation…

What's wrong with him?

She tried to be rational. "Logan, if Jean really contacted you, it's probably a trap. She isn't in control of herself right now. It's not her-"

He shook his head, like she wasn't getting it, and gripped her shoulders and pushed her back the small distance against the wall. "She's still in there, Rogue! I owe it to her to help her!" His eyes were earnest and pleading for her to understand but she didn't.

"You don't owe her anythin'!" her patience snapped, getting up in his face. "Why are you so adamant on doing this? Are you in love with her or somethin'?"

It just slipped out. She didn't mean to say that. It had been a mistake.

But he reeled back like he'd been slapped. And his silence was so loud in her ears.

Why wasn't he saying anything?

Cold dread curled in her gut and when her inner Logan tried to speak, she immediately suppressed him. She couldn't handle two Logan's at the moment. She could only stare back at the real him with wide eyes, waiting for his response.

What was she even doing here? What did she even think would happen? That somehow, maybe, her feelings…her feelings would be returned?

She was just deluding herself, wasn't she? Every second he still didn't say anything told her that she was. His eyes darted away from her and towards the window. His hands slipped from her shoulders and, despite her layers, she felt so cold.

"I," she started, and his gaze immediately went to her, "I guess the real reason you came back wasn't for your tags, was it?"

His brow furrowed and he opened his mouth to argue- or agree, she didn't know, didn't want to know. She swiftly reached up and tore the tags away from her neck. She knew she was being overdramatic and irrational and probably not thinking clearly at all, but her heart was pounding so loud and her head was swimming and all she could think was ' _he's in love with her. With_ her _. Not me._ '

He watched as she shoved his tags, rather harshly, into his hands. He still didn't say anything and she pushed her tears down. Why wouldn't he say anything? Tell her she's wrong or being dumb? Anything?

"Here- now you don't need an excuse."

He stared down at the tags dangling from his fingers. His mouth was open but he didn't make any effort to say anything. Clenching his jaw and hand, he went back to the bed, grabbing his bag. As he turned to leave, his eyes caught her and, at their intensity, her breath left her.

And then he was gone.

She could hear his footsteps stomping down the hall and everything in her was screaming for her to go after him- to apologize or even yell some more or even punch him, _something_ that would keep him here or get him to just say something, _anything_.

But she didn't move. Her heart was racing and she felt her eyes sting but she blinked it back. She blocked everything out, everything and everyone in her head, so she didn't hear them trying to cheer her up or tell her what to do. She didn't want to hear it. The only person she wanted to hear from was probably at his bike by now, speeding far away from here.

She crumpled to the ground, her back sliding against the wall. She stared at the wall across from her, her eyes not seeing anything.

He really left.

He was in love with _her_.

She couldn't believe it. How did it get to this point? Everything had been so great not even two minutes ago. She had been so happy and now…

Pulling her knees to her chest, she rested her arms across them, resting her chin. Her hair fell across her forehead and the white streak caught her eye. She shoved her face into her crossed arms and tried not to make a sound as a lump rose in her throat.

She just couldn't believe it.

-x-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT I ACTUALLY UPDATED WITH PRETTY GOOD TIMING? I'M AMAZED TBH but haha my bad on how angsty it ended. Trust me, it'll be good. I wouldn't do ya'll like that ;) Hope ya'll enjoyed :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm sure many of you noticed an alert saying I had uploaded this a couple of days ago and clicked on it only to see there was nothing there. Well I had actually posted something but realized I actually needed to add more to a section so I deleted it quickly. This is the new version. Again, I'm so sorry about that lol. Enjoy~ :)

Chapter 6:

Speeding down the road, Logan's thoughts were blessedly silent. He didn't think he could handle dealing with what had just happened - what he had just let happen.

His tags burned a hole in jeans where he had stuffed them in his pocket. He couldn't bear to put them back around his neck. They were only tiny pieces of metal, but he swore he could still smell her on them. It made his heart ache and it's that very thought that made him want to bury every emotion and run away.

He didn't do this type of shit. He didn't do feelings. Not like this.

It never ended well.

When she had asked him if he loved Jean, the answer was an obvious one: of course he didn't. Jean was a good woman and _very_ attractive, but he didn't like her like that. She was with Scott anyway, and he fucking hated the idea of sharing so that made her extra off limits.

He may have flirted with her, but it was harmless. There was nothing on his end except admiration and friendship.

And yet, nothing came out when Marie had asked him. His voice caught in his throat and he had to swallow it down like bile.

When she ripped his tags off, he felt a similar tug in his own chest and that scared the shit out of him. So he got out of there without looking back.

It didn't matter how fast he walked, he could still smell her tears as he made his way down the hallway. Everything in him screamed for him to go back but he couldn't.

He just couldn't.

He told himself it was because he needed to do this. He needed to be useful. He's never had purpose in his life and this was his chance to do something right. But _of course_ he had to fuck up before he could get there. He knew he was doing the right thing but it still didn't feel like that yet.

Maybe when he brought Jean home, stopped whatever Buckethead was planning, he could fix it somehow.

Hopefully Marie wouldn't hate him too much by that point.

-x-

"Boys are stupid."

Kitty looked up from where she and Jubes were lounging on the couch in the rec room. Rogue stood above them, her expression morose. Kitty felt a prickle of fear at the base of her spine.

Was it about Bobby?

Jubilee was the first to respond: "Where have you been? They've always been dumb. What's up, girl?" She patted the seat between them for Rogue to sit down. Rogue considered it, before shaking her head.

"Actually…do ya mind if we go somewhere to talk privately? I need to talk to ya'll." She looked at Kitty, her gaze unreadable. "Both of ya'll."

Kitty gulped.

As they walked down the hallway to their room, Kitty kept repeating ' _it was a mistake_ ' over and over in her head, ready to defend herself. She honestly didn't think Rogue would mind and she had been so lonely and _hurt_ and Bobby reached _for_ _her_ and-

Rogue sat on her bed and smiled at them softly.

"Kitty, I know what was happenin' between you an' Bobby and I'm not mad."

Kitty didn't dare to breathe.

Rogue wasn't finished though, cocking her head to the side as a thought hit her. "Well, not at you at least. I get why ya did it, but Bobby…well, Bobby was a bit of a dick about it."

Kitty shook her head, finally unfrozen, "But you should be mad at me! I helped him cheat and I am _so_ sorry, Rogue, I don't know what came over me- why I thought it was okay! I just-" she floundered, her hands fluttering about her, "I just felt so awful still and Bobby was his best friend and I guess I just needed to hurt him back in some way. But that doesn't excuse my actions because I hurt you too and you're my best friend and you don't deserve that and I am _so_ sorry, Rogue…"

Rogue smiled at her in response, "I'm honestly not mad at you, Kitty. I knew all that. I get it…" she trailed off, her mouth pursing. She sat on the ground, gesturing for both of them to do the same, waiting for them to comply. Jubilee had been quiet this whole time, studying her two best friends and trying to see where this was going.

"I was doin' the same, in all honesty," Rogue finished. "I was using Bobby to…to be normal. To feel like a normal girl. It wasn't right of me either, but it's true."

Jubilee butted in at that moment. "It still doesn't excuse Bobby for initiating the physical act of cheating though - don't forget that, ya'll. I know you're trying to be the better person, but don't let him off the hook for that."

Rogue laughed, "Oh, I'm not. Trust me. I broke up with him this mornin', actually."

Kitty raised her eyebrow, "Really? Why?"

"I did see ya'll last night," Rogue confessed. "I saw ya and it just hit me how much I wanted that- how much I wanted to touch someone, be normal…," she hesitated, "and I almost went and got the cure."

Jubilee and Kitty's eyes widened. The room filled with tension.

"I decided, however, that my mutation is a part of me. And because it's a part of me, I can probably figure out how it works and manage it. I owe it to myself to try, at least. So step one of tryin' to get my shit together was to break up with Bobby. So I did."

"What's the next step?" Jubilee asked.

"Step two was to find ya'll and have a talk. You guys are my best friends and I don't want any secrets between us. I wanted to clear the air." Rogue's brow was furrowed, the vulnerability shining in her eyes as she gazed at them. She nervously tugged at her gloves.

Kitty reached over and grasped her hand. She smiled reassuringly, "I'd like that too."

Rogue returned the gesture, turning to Jubilee and grabbing her hand too.

"I'm really glad I met ya'll. I don't think I would've gotten through all this without ya."

"Same, girl," Jubilee grinned.

Rogue squeezed her friends' hands and then let go.

"So," Jubes started, "Was that what prompted the whole ' boys are stupid' line? Bobby's stupidity?" She studied her friend's face. "Or was it something else?"

Rogue chewed her lip. "Well…that's step three. Figure out what the hell I'm gonna do about Logan." Her shoulders slumped forward.

"What did Wolvie do this time?" Jubes rolled her eyes, her mouth curling in humor. She expected to hear something dumb that Logan had done, but the frown that crossed Rogue's face dispelled that idea.

"He loves Jean," Rogue bit out.

Kitty's eyes widened. "What? Did he really tell you that?"

"That's the problem," Rogue scowled. "I accused him of it and he sure as hell didn't deny it."

"So you don't know for sure?" Jubilee clarified, leaning forward with her knees on her elbows.

"Well, no…" Rogue trailed off. "But would it have killed him to have said somethin'? He didn't say anythin' at all before taking off after her!" she gestured wildly. "And it ain't even her, but does that matter to him? No, it don't!" She paused, her eyes fixed on the ground in front of her. "That's why I accused him of bein' in love with her…why else would he go through all this trouble?" her voice turned sad as she plucked at the fingers of the other glove.

"Wait…he left? He's gone?"Kitty murmured.

Rogue nodded, her brow furrowing. "Yea," her voice cracked.

"Oh, honey," Jubes cooed, scooching over to place an arm around Rogue. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," Rogue whispered, leaning her head on Jubes's shoulder.

Kitty placed a hand on her arm."Boys are stupid," she proclaimed.

And all three nodded at the obvious fact.

-x-

The crowds were loud and aggressive. People were swinging signs above their heads and shouting obscenities across the street. Most were against the cure, but he knew there were anti-mutants in the bunch.

John smirked as he slowly made his way through to the front. No one paid him any mind. He was just another face in the crowd here. Despite the anonymity, he was supremely aware of his strength and his importance above them all. He felt the power in his veins as the details of his mission ran through his head.

He was a god amongst insects.

Xavier would have never allowed this. He wouldn't have tolerated the thought of what John was about to do.

And that was why he was weak, John told himself. It's all about evolution and the strongest will survive. You need to adapt or you will perish. And Xavier refused to adapt, refused to allow himself be stronger and that's why he was gone. If mutants stayed silent, their fate would be the same. It would be like this all the time. Chanting and anger hurled at them, people confused and defensive, ready to take action against what they didn't know.

People were dangerous. Mutants had to take precautions and make the first move - before they were victims.

John refused to be a victim.

He gazed across the street at the building that held the cure - the bane of every mutant existence.

He smirked and flicked a finger against his palm. The click of his machine was drowned out from the crowd and no one paid him any attention as suddenly, with a swish of his arm, a wave of fire was sent at the building.

And it exploded.

No one looked as everyone flew into a panic, not even as he stood there with a giant grin on his face, a manic look in his eye.

No one glanced at him when he turned on his heel and escaped into the chaos.

No one paid any attention to John.

He was a ghost.

-x-

After grabbing a bite to eat in the kitchen, the girls were about to go outside when suddenly everyone was running to the rec room. Sharing a confused look, they followed. Everyone was surrounding the television set that was running a breaking news story.

" _Magneto Threat Issued._ "

Kitty felt like she couldn't breathe when she saw the arch of fire. She knew who's handiwork that was and she felt her legs give out as she collapsed onto the couch. Jubilee and Rogue helped her down, their eyes firmly planted on the screen, their expressions grim.

" _Today's attack_ ," Magneto spoke to the masses, " _was only our first warning. So long as the cure exists, our war will rage. Your cities will not be safe; your streets will not be safe -_ you _will not be safe._ "

Rogue glanced around her at the people surrounding the set. This war would affect them. The majority of them were children, they wouldn't be able to fight should it come to that. Her eye caught Storm's, who stood in the back of the room. The older woman looked tired but determined as she listened to the megalomaniac's speech. Magneto's next words caught her attention and Rogue narrowed her eyes.

" _And to my fellow mutants, I make you this offer: join us or stay out of our way. Enough mutant blood has been spilled already._ "

Then the message was cut off and the room was filled with the anchorman's prattle. One child reached over and turned the TV off and silence permeated.

Jubilee was the one to break it: "Well, crap."

-x-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I guess that amazing writing inspiration only lasted for a certain amount of time haha I'm so sorry ya'll. But hopefully this chapter is alright. I'm finally on summer break so fingers crossed that I'll be able to write a bit more :) Again, thank you so much for continuing to read this and being patient with me xD it means a lot :)


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

 

He only barely managed to make sure the bike engine turned off before he took off into the mansion. His mind was whirling with what had happened the past couple of hours- finding Buckethead's camp, hearing his psychotic plan, seeing Jean…he had to get back. He had to warn them, tell them what he saw out there.

The army that Magneto had…there were just too many.

The last of his cuts had healed before he'd even sat down on his bike, but his clothes were ratty enough that Storm gave him a raised brow when she saw him.

"Logan, wha-"

"I found her," he cut to the chase. "She's with Magneto and I know where they're headed. We have to move. They're going to attack Alcatraz," he took off down the hallway, not even waiting for them to keep up.

He smelled Iceprick off to the side and caught him running up the stairs out of the corner of his eye. He knew he'd be getting the other Junior X-Men ready to head out. At that thought, he felt his shoulders tense in preparation.

He couldn’t decide if he was more nervous about going to war or facing Marie.

 

-x-

Zipping into the leather suit felt a lot more serious this time around, though Rogue wasn’t surprised by this in the least. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, though she made sure to keep a calm exterior. She still wasn’t sure if she was ready, though the voices in her head and the power that thrummed through her veins told her differently. She felt like something big was going to happen, something irreversible.

Despite the warmth of her suit, she felt a shiver go down her spine.

She just hoped she was ready for what's to come.

As she followed Jubilee and Kitty down the hallway, she noticed Logan standing at the doorway to the X-Jet. He looked her way and she quickly diverted her gaze to the ground. She could hear the conversation going on around her, but it was like she was underwater. She couldn’t concentrate on anything that they were saying and she focused all of her attention on gathering her hair into a bun.

She could feel Logan's eyes on her, but she refused to look back. She knew they were giving inspirational speeches and she was reaching the point where she just wanted to get on with it. As soon as everyone started walking through the entry, she was quick on their heels.

Unfortunately, she didn’t count on Logan snagging her arm and holding her back as everyone else got on the jet.

Her eyes met his and she hated the tingle that shot through her.

She ripped her arm away. " _What_ , Logan?" she spit at him.

His jaw muscle clenched before he focused his attention on the ground. "Look, I just wanted to say…," he trailed off, shaking his head. He reached into his pocket and Rogue immediately recognized the familiar tags. He offered them out to her.

"Why give 'em back to me?" She questioned, her eyes narrowed.

He shrugged, eyes riveted to the tags in his hand. His thumb brushed across his name emblazed on the metal. Rogue glanced back up to his face to see him swallow. Something clicked in his eyes and suddenly they were staring straight into hers. She shivered again.

"Because with you is the only place they belong."

Her breath caught in her throat. Then she shook her head.

"What are you sayin'...?"

"Marie, you know what I'm saying."

"I need you to actually say it though."

His jaw clenched but he took a step forward. She craned her neck to keep up eye contact. He reached down to gently grasp her hand and brought it up to meet his. Placing his tags in her palm, his lips pressed into a warm line.

"These tags represent who I am and who I've been. They're important to me." He curled her fingers around the tags, their eyes never leaving each other. "I want you to have them."

She blinked.

"Becaauuuse…?" she tilted her head to the side.

He stared blankly at her.

She raised her eyebrows at him expectantly.

"I…,"he looked confused and she couldn’t help the small quirk of her lips. She couldn’t help fucking with him just a little bit.

He narrowed his eyes at her but smiled anyway. Slightly pushing their joined hands closer to her, he grew serious again.

"You're important to me too, Marie. Probably more. And I don’t trust anyone else with them." His thumb brushed across the tops of her fingers and she felt the warmth of it to her toes.

Withdrawing her hand from his, she took great care of replacing the tags around her neck, tucking them safely inside her suit. She patted the spot where they were, which happened to be directly above her heart. She looked back up at him.

His eyes had been trained on her face the whole time.

She smiled at him.

"Um, guys?"

Both jolted and turned to the jets entrance where Jubilee was grinning over at them.

"I hate to interrupt, but…mutant prison raid, remember? Gotta go save the day again." She popped her gum and winked over at Rogue before ducking back into the jet.

Logan glanced back over at her and Rogue knew her face was tinged pink, but she bravely returned his gaze.

"Well, you heard her, sugah. Let's go save the day," she grinned.

He smirked and didn’t say anything when she grabbed his hand to lead him onto the jet. He merely followed after her and closed his fingers around hers.

 

-x-

 

Kitty focused on breathing evenly and keeping her mind as clear as she possibly could. If she allowed her thoughts to stray, there's only one place they'd lead and she couldn’t afford to get sidetracked about that right now.

She couldn’t help it though. She was going to see him again. John was going to be there, she just knew it. She could feel it in her bones.

It kind of terrified her.

Did he look different? Would he remember her? Or act like she was nothing but another enemy? Would he attack her? Would they _fight_?

Kitty dragged in a ragged breath and tilted her head back against the seat. Clenching her eyes shut for a moment, she then turned to glance at everyone around her. The air was thick and nobody could bring themselves to speak. The only lightheartedness Kitty could remember was when Logan and Rogue walked onto the jet, Rogue's hand resting over her heart.

Kitty had smiled, knowing that at least someone's relationship had been repaired.

She could only hope the same could be said for her by the end of the battle.

She could only hope they all made it out _alive_ to even mend those relationships.

She kind of hoped he wasn't even there. It would make her life a whole lot easier. Of course, when did John ever make her life easier though?

A chuckle escaped her lips without her thinking, despite the bitterness sweeping through her. It was nice to know he could at least still make her laugh even when she didn’t want to.

 

-x-

 

Rogue clenched her fists as she stared out at the army in front of her. There were hundreds of mutants, all ready to tear the X-Men apart. Tear her apart.

She was a bit nervous, to be honest.

Glancing to her right, she caught Logan's eye. Immediately a warmth settled over her and she felt herself calm, her posture loosening and strengthening at the same time. She smiled at him. His eyes were piercing but his mouth curved into a smirk as he nodded back to her. She could see that he was a touch nervous as well, his hands clenching and his knuckles tightening around his claws, but he appeared to be confident. She strived to accomplish the same thing, drawing from his strength and hopefully providing some back to him.

When he looked front again, she turned to her other side to share a quick glance with Jubilee and Kitty, who both looked determined and fierce and she had to smile again. Rolling her shoulders, she once again faced Magneto and his army.

The air was tense and no one spoke. A breath seemed to inhale and suddenly Magneto was shouting.

" _Finish them!_ "

And everyone rushed forward and the battle began.

-x-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness I am so sorry for the long delay, real life caught up to me and it's been crappy trying to write anything to be quite honest. I was dealing with graduation and grad school and a bunch of other things (though I am proud to announce I now have a bachelor's degree under my belt hehe) and I work retail so holidays were obviously awful- so there are my many excuses lmao I'm so sorry ya'll. I hope this is alright, I'm so sorry it's so short. Thank you to all who are still reading this, I really appreciate it :) Enjoy and please let me know what you think :)


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